Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
