Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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