Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
