party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
