dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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