she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize