I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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