That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
