I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
