that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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