im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
