there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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