No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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