I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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