Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
