But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
