I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
