Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
