you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
