Her vagina should come with caution tape.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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