You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
