your room smells of hookers.
And success
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
