Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
