So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
