Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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