the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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