You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
