so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
