it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
