every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
