That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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