when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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