U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
