I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
