Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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