that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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