Got a toothbrush?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize