i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
