that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
