I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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