No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
