Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
