I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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