sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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