let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
