so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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