So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
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she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
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You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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