I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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