Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
