you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize