if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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