i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
