I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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