I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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