I just made out with a guy for $7.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
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Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
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I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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