Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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