I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
