guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
