yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
