Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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