a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
