Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
