and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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