I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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